so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
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all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
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My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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