So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize