i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
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Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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