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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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