There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize