Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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