hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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