He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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