break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
you made out with another girl for some wings
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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