"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
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Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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