and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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