I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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