I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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