i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize