it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so that wasnt chicken after all
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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