i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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