Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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