I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
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I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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