why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize