remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
there is glitter all over my balls
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