If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize