You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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