non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize