Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize