my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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