So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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