Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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