if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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