Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize