Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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