dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
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i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
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Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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