member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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