it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize