He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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