it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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