I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
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Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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