Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
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I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
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Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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