I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
you never un-have a 4some
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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