I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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