He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize