Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize