you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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