if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize