I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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