Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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