Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
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I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
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Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
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The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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