One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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