I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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