Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
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After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
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you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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