U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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